Elana Sztokman

We need to recognize that the ultra-Orthodox obsession with removing women from public spaces is in fact an act of systemic violence that is often accompanied by pointed violence (cursing, spitting, pushing, beating up, throwing acid and stealing babies, to name a few incidences from the past 2–3 years). This communal compulsion is a threat to women’s physical and emotional well-being, and goes against the basic tenets of democracy, humanity, and even Torah. Yes, the Torah tells us that all human beings (men AND women) were created in His Divine image and deserve dignity and respect.

I’m turning forty next week, and I want to celebrate. I’m not talking about a Madonna-style birthday celebration of pretending I’m still 22, or an Oprah-style event involving giving away cars (although perhaps if I could actually do either, I might consider it). I’m thinking more along the lines of a celebration of life, of joy, of the freedom that comes with a certain stage of adulthood.

Forty is a big deal. Every major biblical transition was represented by forty – forty years in the desert, forty days on the mountain, forty days of the flood, forty years of peace when Deborah became judge (after Yael took out Sisera). In short, forty is birth, transition, or transformation. Forty weeks of gestation. According to the Kabala, forty steps in the creation of the world – ten utterances of God, and four steps of creation each time. Forty. According to the late Aryeh Kaplan, forty is the “mem”, the letter of “mayim”, waters, which represents the fluidity of life. Forty, or “mayim”, is about my own rebirth. I can’t wait.

Forty is freedom. It’s about relinquishing all kinds of anxieties and fears and a nagging need to please. It’s about letting myself dance and sing and run and leap, about allowing myself to be who I am, to speak freely and write freely and not be too afraid that someone won’t like what I have to say. I’ve learned that someone will always disagree or disapprove, so I might as well be true to myself, so at least one person will always be satisfied.

Forty is about owning myself. Like the way the amazing George Michael defines it: “I don’t belong to you and you don’t belong to me. Yeah, yeah!” It’s about letting go of other people’s voices in my head and listening closely to my own. I believe that quiet inner voice that we all have to be the voice of God that we were all granted as part of our tzelem elokim. It’s so often encumbered by external prattle, the way the poet Mary Oliver writes in her glorious poem, “The Journey”: “’ "Mend my life!"/ each voice cried/ But you didn't stop/ You knew what you had to do.”.....

So, to mark my newfound freedom of forty and all its accompanying Zen-Torah wisdom, I invite you to help me celebrate my birthday by helping other women who have not yet achieved freedom. I am talking of course about agunot and mesoravot get, women inextricably chained in unwanted marriages who want nothing else than the freedom I described here. If you want to help me celebrate, please give a gift of $40 to Mavoi Satum helping agunot and mesoravot get. Together, we’ll spread the joy, and strive to bring about freedom for all.

And thanks for celebrating with me!

Read the rest on the Forward Sisterhood

Stanley Chais doesn’t know me, but I know him. His name appears in the title of countless files on my computer – titles such as, “Chais Proposal for Educational Program….” Over the past five years, I’ve written a whole bunch of not-quite-Pulitzer-prize winners in this fascinating genre called “The Grant Proposal”. See, I’m one of those idealists turned pragmatists, the kind who graduated university thinking I wanted to change the world and ended up spending most of my days grant-writing. There are throngs of us out there – teachers, social workers, youth counselors. We have ideas, we have drive, we have creativity and we have motivation. What we don’t have is a clever way to pay our own bills. What can I say, there is much more market demand for good English writing than for expertise in, oh, say, “gender issues in Jewish education.” (What’s that? Yeah….) So now, in addition to the many charming (or perhaps outrageous) ideas for improving society that are floating around my brain like the balls in a pinball machine, I now have a trade. I’m a fundraiser. Read the rest of this entry →

This is published in today's English Ynet edition.The announcement this morning by Interior Minister Eli Yishai of Shas that the foreign workers will undergo a "massive expulsion" is surprising not because of Yishai's undaunted ability to withstand public pressure. We've seen that before. What shocked me was his rationale: "Whoever is found will not receive refuge -- just like every 'civilized' country in the world," he said. Actually, the word he used, "metukenet" is difficult to translate. Based on the root "teken", which means either "correct" or "standard", it seems to mean that in a medina metukenet all norms are in order, that rules and regulations are in place to ensure a perceived decorum. Well, chasing out refugees may make us like other nations, but it will hardly make us civilized. Read the rest of this entry →

My friend Elise Rynhold who works for Orr Shalom sent in this important post. It's a very special organization and I look forward to seeing the exhibition: Orr Shalom, Israel's largest non-profit organization providing out-of-home care and therapeutic services to 1,300 children who have been removed from their homes by the social welfare services due to severe abuse and/or neglect, is showcasing an open-air photography exhibition entitled "Child, Home, Light" at the Tel Aviv Port this summer. The unique exhibition offers a rare glimpse into the world of the children for whom Orr Shalom cares. Read the rest of this entry →

I'm on my way to New York, my first trip there in three years. I'm going for the second conference of the Global Task Force on Jewish Peoplehood Education of the School for Jewish Peoplehood Studies at Beth Hatefutsoth, the Museum of the Jewish People. What is "Peoplehood"? It's a way of conceptualizing Jewish identity beyond the liberal-minded individualistic search for self. It revolves around connectivity and mutual responsibility, and implies that one cannot be Jewish in a vacuum, the Judaism is inherently different from, say, Christianity, in that there is a necessarily communal element to it. One cannot be a "Good Jew" alone -- a Passover seder of One is not a seder. Connection is key. For me, it's not just connection but mutual responsibilty: this is about reminding Jews that caring for the well-being of the person sitting across the table, ocean, screen, or partition is a vital aspect of our tradition and heritage. Below is the press release about the conference. I'll try and send a blog from there, otherwise, reporting when I get back. L'hitraot! Read the rest of this entry →

The Jewish world lost a gem last week. Dr. Aryeh Geiger, founder of the pioneering Reut School in Jerusalem, founder of Ometz Hinuchi for principal independence, creator of the Gidonim project for the renewal of Eastern European Jewish cemeteries, died last week after a long and uphill battle with cancer. But his long list of amazing achievements does not capture what made him truly great. His greatness was who he was as a person. Aryeh Geiger embodied kindness and care as an entire world view. He built relationships and institutions on the same principle of spirituality as human connection. He never veered from these unwavering beliefs, and dedicated every ounce of his life to transmitting this love for humankind. I had the privilege of interviewing Aryeh Geiger last year, right after he called a meeting of the staff, students, and parents in Reut, to announce to the community that he was stepping down due to his illness. "I am lucky to be able to prepare for my departure from the community," he said with tragic calmness. This was a man for whom life and death formed a challenge and an opportunity. I'm reprinting the interview below from Jewish Educational Leadership. May his memory be a blessing. It already is. Read the rest of this entry →

Tuesday November 25 marks the International Day Against Violence Against Women. This is a horrific and growing problem in Israeli society. Know the facts. Recognize the signs. You may be able to save the life of a woman you love. One sunny morning in the pastoral northern town of Tirat Hacarmel, Noga Gadi, a beautiful 30-year old woman was stabbed 32 times with a knife while in her own home, by none other than her husband. When he was questioned in court about his actions, the husband replied, “What’s the big deal? It happens all the time in this country.” This article is scheduled to appear in the November 25 edition of the Jerusalem Post Read the rest of this entry →

This essay is scheduled to be published in the next issue of Jewish Educational Leadership The running joke in Dr. Shlomi Ravid’s family is that he is a chicken farmer who became a Jewish professional. Put differently, the socialist-Zionist (“sabre”) revolution and ethos has gone a full circle. Ravid, the 55 year-old soft-spoken, blue-eyed, grey-bearded, mild-mannered founding director of the School for Jewish Peoplehood Studies at Beth Hatefutsoth does not possess a demeanor of a man out to change the world. And yet, in his inimitable gentle and caring way, Ravid is doing just that – inspiring virtually everyone he meets and works with to transform Jewish life. In fact, it is perhaps his very kindness that lies at the heart of his vision. Read the rest of this entry →

Even though the hot topic right now is clearly the economy, I would like to draw your attention towards some other notable events underway this week: Jewish Social Action Month, Tav Hevrati, and Bullying Prevention Week. Inspiring us to stand up and do something! Read the rest of this entry →