Elana Sztokman

Gabrielle Birkner, web-editor of The Forward, and creator of the Sisterhood, interviewed me before the JOFA conference to hear about some of the issues. I talked about "Torah Im Shivyon", a vision for equality in Orthodox day school education, and about my forthcoming book about Orthodox men, to be published by Hadassah Brandeis in early 2011, entitled, "On the cusp: Jewish men in transition." Listen here. Let me know what you think! Read the rest of this entry →

Feminism has no doubt transformed Orthodoxy over the past three decades. Women have gone from begging to hold a Torah on Simchat Torah to holding their own services, to creating partnership synagogues in which women take active roles alongside men in running the service. It’s not only about women learning Talmud, but also about being acknowledged with proper titles for the roles — from religious pleaders who argue cases in the rabbinical courts to the most recent breakthrough of calling women (almost) rabbis. Gender roles in Orthodoxy are rapidly being redefined in homes, communities and synagogues, where men and women share the tasks of preparing for Shabbat and educating children, leading prayer and giving a D’var Torah. The list of changes goes on, and it’s all quite exciting. Yet, remarkably, these changes have failed to find parallel expression in the Orthodox school system. Notwithstanding tremendous efforts by the Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance (JOFA) and other groups to address these issues, the fact remains that from preschool on, schools continue to send the message that women are predominantly charged with the home, and men are in charge of prayer and ritual. School books show men as active and women as passive — a message compounded by school decors that have walls plastered with pictures of men/rabbis and women’s pictures few and far between, if at all. The issues surrounding how teachers relate to gender in the classroom, how girls are treated in math and sciences and how boys are treated in art and literature — issues that blasted open in America with the 1992 AAUW report “How Schools Shortchange Girls” and have since contributed to a complete evolution of gender in education in America — have barely been noted in the Orthodox day school system. READ MORE AT THE FORWARD SISTERHOOD Read the rest of this entry →

Women can solve the world’s problems by just being a little quieter. That is the message emerging from the resolution of a little fracas in the Religious Zionist world recently. The conflict revolved around the traditional IDF event memorializing the “Lamed-Heh,” the 35 men from the Haganah convoy who gave their lives to protect Gush Etzion in 1948. Bnei Akiva announced their withdrawal from the event because there are to be women singing in the choir. After some hemming and hawing and a few angry responses even from within the Bnei Akiva constituency — including condemnation of the boycott from Bnei Akiva World head Daniel Goldman, as well as Kibbutz Hadati youth, Kolech, and others —the groups reached a “compromise” in which women would not sing at the event, but would sing after the event (once all of the Bnei Akiva kids have left).

Women, looking around at other women, are often so sensitive to being judged — whether or not the sentiment is justified. Working women feel judged as bad mothers, and stay-at-home mothers feel judged as inferior members of society at large, a society in which career often equals social status and identity. I think that much of the recent Sisterhood debate on this topic reflects this general insecurity. Mothers are so heavily judged and blamed for a whole host of societal ills. From Sigmund Freud to Robert Goren, mothers who don’t do their jobs properly are credited with smothering and emasculating young men and for causing psychosis and sociopathic behavior. No wonder women are always so insecure.

My dear friend Jennifer Brody Martin is not likely to tell you what a trailblazer she is. But in fact she is the first Orthodox Jewish woman funeral director in America. Most people don't appreciate the importance of the funeral home in their lives, because it is a topic that only becomes important at certain painful moments which we tend not to think about too much. But the fact is, the funeral and the cemetery are the location of some of our most emotional and dramatic life events. Yet in the religious Jewish world, these sites often remain off limits to women -- emotionally and physically. (See entry from earlier this year on the subject.) Below is an article by Chana Pinchasi about her vision of women and funerals. It appeared in last week's Ynet. I dedicate this column to Jennifer, with love and admiration for doing God's work. The Last Act of Kindness By Chana Pinchasi Read the rest of this entry →

Forget Larry Summers, the whole women and math brain thing. This isn't about men dominating women in math and science. We're talking here about writing, language, the place where anti-feminist men are still kvetching that they are discriminated against, that girls in school have an unfair advantage for being "girly" and enjoying books. Yes, we're talking about books. This is Publisher's Weekly, once heralded as THE address for the book and publishing industry. This is where men are not just dominating, but completely excluding women. Read the rest of this entry →

When Professor Ada Yonath, the bubbly, animated scientist with Einstein-like hair as well as intelligence, received the phone call several days ago informing her that she was shortlisted for the Nobel Prize in Chemistry, she thought someone was playing a joke on her. “I said, ‘Yeah, right, so should I make an appointment for the hairdresser now?’” she recalled at the press conference this week. “As you can all see, I did not make that appointment,” she laughed, with a wonderful gleam in her eye. Prof. Yonath’s prize for discoveries about ribosomes is cause for celebration, especially for Jewish women. It gives her a place not just in the annals of human history, but also in the hearts and diaries of countless girls. I can just picture all those science-loving girls. They are the ones who, like Prof. Yonath, prefer to be in a lab rather than at the hairdresser, who may be quiet in class or walk with their noses in a book, who are perhaps irreverent and independent-minded, girls who love a good experiment and would rather read science fiction than go to the mall, girls whose idea of a perfect birthday gift is a microscope or telescope rather than a Barbie, girls who wonder why they don’t fit in. READ THE REST AT THE FORWARD SISTERHOOD BLOG Read the rest of this entry →

As a parent, I love the holiday of Sukkot, which begins Friday night. It’s a great family time – lots of al fresco dining, sleeping outdoors, enjoying fresh air, singing, cooking favorite foods, and experiencing a welcome escape from the weightiness of an excessively material life. There’s nothing like spending eight days inside four walls of canvas to remind us of the value of simplicity. As a woman, though, I find Sukkot to be one of the most difficult holidays we’ve got. It is laden with messages about gender differences and where women truly belong, and these messages seem to intensify each year. READ THE REST ON THE FORWARD SISTERHOOD BLOG Read the rest of this entry →

"Reut: The Center for Modern Jewish Marriage" is currently recruiting engaged couples for our Fall 2009 group seminar for engaged couples. It's a wonderful eight-week program in Jerusalem, organized by my dear friend Rabbi Haviva Ner David, that promises to be both enjoyable and informative and extremely helpful for starting off a marriage on the right feet. For more information, see their website at www.reutcenter.org. Please pass on this information to any engaged couples you may know or anyone you think may know couples engaged to be married in the coming months. For more information, you can write to Haviva directly, at rabbihaviva@gmail.com Read the rest of this entry →

Kolech is offering a series of educational and empowerment programs to address the changing needs and interests women of all ages -- and sometimes even men. Take a look – you may be surprised to find out that other people are interested in exploring the same issues that you are! Read the rest of this entry →