Ruth, Conversion, and the Tragedy of the Israeli Beit Din
I would like to dedicate this post to my friend Ariella Zeller, who taught me everything about women, friendship, and love.
Despite rumors to the contrary, I am fairly certain that Ruth did not convert to Judaism. At least not by today’s standards. Even though we celebrate Ruth as the quintessential convert, the fact is, she became Jewish without doing any of the things that the rabbis would have demanded of her in the modern state of Israel. The Book of Ruth has no mention of dipping naked into mikva. There is no mention of three haredi men watching, and asking her all kinds of prodding questions. There is no interrogation. No studying of halakha for years. No coming to her house and checking how she makes tea on Shabbat. I mean, chances are she didn’t even keep Shabbat or kashruth. What, you think when Naomi left Israel to be the only Jews in Moab, her sons married Moabite women but she was actually using two sets of dishes and putting a plata on her stove on Shabbat? It’s ridiculous. Elimelech and Naomi left Israel for ten years without ever looking back. They left because there was a famine and bread was more important than heritage. The Jewish people was not important to Elimelech, he let his sons marry local women, and never made plans to go back to Israel. So, really, what are the chances that he kept a kosher home over there in Moab? I’d say between slim and nil. Ruth probably never even heard of Shabbat.
So what did Ruth do exactly to merit becoming an esteemed member of the tribe, grandmother of King David, matriarch of the messianic line? No Torah, no halakha, no covering every inch of flesh (that we know of). None of that. How did she come to be the archetypal Jew? She simply declared her loyalty to Naomi.
In what is undoubtedly one of the most stirring passages in the entire Bible, Ruth says:
Wherever you go, I shall go; wherever you sleep, I shall sleep. Your people are my people, your God is my God.”
Passionate, moving, even thousands of years later. But really, we have to ask ourselves, why did Ruth do this? What motivated her to drop her entire life, her entire identity, leave home, and attach herself to a poor, barren, widow? She left a life she knew, her language, her culture and her family, in order to become a woman on the margins, a woman so poor that she slept on hay and gleaned from the wheat that fell on the floor. Why? She went from having a life to being less than a nobody. Naomi was a nobody, and Ruth was the nobody’s sidekick. Why on earth would she do that?
So of course the rabbis over the generations delighted in painting this as the consummate conversion story. Obviously, she loved Torah and wanted to be part of the Chosen People. Obviously…. Only, that really doesn’t fly with the text.
I have taught this book many times, and I have asked this same question to probably a dozen different groups: Why did Ruth stay with Naomi? And time and again the answer is obvious: She loved Naomi. It’s not God, not Israel, not Torah. It’s Naomi. Wherever Naomi was going, she was going. She just loved Naomi. She did it for Naomi.
Now, we have no idea why she loved Naomi, but she did. Naomi must have been something really special, but we don’t know. I would love to know more. So much is missing from this text. I want to know about their lives, their conversations, about what they were like and what they laughed about. But the Bible is thrifty with descriptions of that sort. Nonetheless, the story moves me every time I read it because this is really the only place in the entire Bible where we learn about women’s friendship, about women’s love for one another. It’s possibly the only place where we get a real glimpse of women’s passion, women’s culture, women’s relationships, women’s emotions. The only other possible story about women’s inner lives is Rachel and Leah, but that story is so full of bitterness and competition that it’s more of a foil to this story than an example of women’s love. The story of Ruth and Naomi stands out as an exemplary narrative of women’s love and care for one another.
So if she didn’t actually convert, why is Ruth such an exemplary figure as to merit being the monarchical, messianic matriarch? I think the answer is obvious. The kind of loving dedication she demonstrates for Naomi is exactly what the Jewish people are meant to be aspiring towards. Ruth’s simple, profound willingness to step into Naomi’s life in order to offer her friendship – an act that, at its core seeks to alleviate Naomi’s deep pain by providing the support of a friend – is the essence of Torah.
Thirty-six times the Torah tells us to look after the stranger. It only hints at separating meat and milk in five words repeated twice. Yet, today Jews spend far more energy –not to mention money – on milk and meat than on kindness to strangers. Hillel says that Love thy Neighbor is the entire Torah – what is hated onto you, do not do to others. This is what it means to convert to Judaism: It means to take on the essence of the Torah, of lovingkindness.
In light of all this, all the stories from the past few weeks about the travesty of the Israeli Beit Din and the way they treat conversions breaks my heart. As Justice Minister Yaakov Neeman said yesterday, 100,000 Jews in practice are being tortured by anachronistic, self-serving, small minded haredi men claiming to act in the name of Judaism. That is an enormous human tragedy. Neeman says it’s a bigger threat to the Jewish people than Iran. But more than that, I think, it is a complete distortion of Judaism. Love, care and human kindness have been replaced cold black coats, absurd black velvet hats and icy stares of indifference.
The Jewish people in Israel is at risk of losing its soul.
If Ruth were around today, she would never make it through the Beit Din. And then we would be left without a matriarch, without a king, and without a true message of Torah. The Beit Din is killing the heart and soul of the Jewish people.
May 27th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Brilliant! I love the part when you write that if Ruth was living today she would never make it through the conversion process of the Bet DIn.
May 28th, 2009 at 1:23 am
I’m not so familiar with the current politics around conversions in Israel - is there any sort of backlash against the Beit Din, not among secular Jews, but from the mainstream religious community?
I love what you wrote here: “Ruth’s simple, profound willingness to step into Naomi’s life in order to offer her friendship – an act that, at its core seeks to alleviate Naomi’s deep pain by providing the support of a friend – is the essence of Torah.” So true. Thank you for this lovely post. (And I’m not just saying that because I was named for Ruth’s mother-in-law ;-] )
May 28th, 2009 at 1:46 am
Dear Naomi
Thanks for your note. And for picking out that sentence to highlight….
As for the current politics about conversions in Israel, the best resource on this subject is Joel Katz’s Religion and Politics in Israel. He collects writings on this and other related subjects, and his newsletters are really excellent resources for a quick rundown of what’s being said and done on conversion in Israel. (He’s also a really nice guy.) http://religionandstateinisrael.blogspot.com/
Elana
May 28th, 2009 at 2:03 am
Didn’t some of your teachers (and commentators) insist that Ruth actually underwent a full halachic conversion even though it isn’t mentioned in the text? (These are the same people who insist that the Patriarchs somehow knew and observed mitzvot that weren’t commanded until Ma’amad Sinai or later, yet we see Abraham serving dairy & meat at the same meal, etc.). For that matter, while Ruth is the example of conversion due to conviction, there are many prior cases of marriage-conversion implied in Tanach. Even Isaac and Jacob, who married their own cousins, were marrying women who had been raised in idolatrous homes - how did they become Jewish? And what about all the wives of Jacob’s sons and grandsons - even Joseph? They were clearly not Hebrews by birth, yet they were acceptable as brides and their children were considered to be Israelites. The standard of the time was obviously different - apparently the marriage sufficed to convert the bride, as she joined her husband’s clan.
May 28th, 2009 at 2:39 am
Jennifer
All good points. The issue of how marriage (and divorce) differs then and now is particularly apt.
So the question is, what do we do with all this information? I’m going to come at this backwards and say that I’m all in favor of legitimizing halakhic discourse despite the fact that we realize it’s a social construct. Yes, let’s keep halakha. it may be completely man made, but lots of people thought it was a good system for a long time and maybe there is some good stuff in there beneath all the muck. Okay. I’ll take that stance.
But in doing so, if we are going to maintain a religious society that is also civil, we have to be willing to acknowledge absurdity when it exists, and let go of all these ridiculous notions that Judaism can’t change because this is how it’s always been. Once we let go of that fallacy, we can start having a real conversation about what God was trying to teach us at Sinai.
That’s kind of where my thinking is these days (though I offer a disclaimer that it is subject to change without prior notice).
What about you? What do you think?
Elana
May 28th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
things can change in judaism when the change suits the ones who are able to do it. in our former shul in nj, the “avinu sh’bashamyim tzur yisrael” was not said, as the shul was part of an outreach program based in lakewood (’nuf said). this bothered many members, some of whom were israelis on shlichut or in the u.s. for various reasons or just “stam dati zioni.” while having a discussion about this with one of my lakewood transplant friends (we had many spirited discussions!) her explanation to me for this was that “we do not have to authority nowadays to write new tfillot and the shlom ham’dina was new.” however, i pointed out to her, sitting on her coffee table was book filled with all sorts of tfillot for life-cycle events such as one for finding a bashert, a prayer for during labor/delivery, under the chuppa, bat mitzva… you get the point. i highly doubt that any of these were written by the rivers of babylon. but because of the anti-zionist philosophy of the shul we were members of this particular expression of religious zionism “did not suit” and so there was no change. along with an apologist explanation to boot.
May 28th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
i also want to add that it’s interesting to me that you mention rachel and leah as well. that story moved me as being so human, so real, at least from what i observed of the relationships between my friends and their sisters (i am the only daughter in my family). during my stern interview (i didn’t go there) i was asked, if i could meet anyone from tanach, who would it be? i answered, “rachel.” i went on to explain that i would love to sit down and talk with her about that whole episode with yaakov. even though there was so much competition and rivalry, when push came to shove, the sister-bond won out — rachel gave leah her private signals to yaakov so as not to mortify her own sister on her wedding night. and considering the pathos that led up to that wedding night, that is just amazing to me. the interviewer looked at me in silence for a moment then said, “in all my interviewing, not one person has ever given me that answer. what a wonderful response.”
May 28th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Nehama
Welcome back! Haven’t seen you around these parts in a while… Nice to hear your voice!
Thanks especially for sharing the story about rachel and leah and your interview. You make a lovely point about their relatinoship being “real” if not ideal. I hear you, for sure. Human reality can touch us as well….
I guess what I was getting at was that ruth’s gesture to naomi is not just stirring but is also an ideal, something we need to be aspiring to. But you’re right that there are other women-relationships in the tanach that have, perhaps, other things to teach us…
Question — if ruth is, as i suggest, an ideal of humanity, do we have other male models of it in the tanach? compare, for example, ruth and naomi to david and yonatan.
e
June 1st, 2009 at 4:19 am
Good article, Thanks. Thanks.
July 30th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
The Torah states very clearly that a stranger wants to convert and be part of your people you must help them. The conversion process should not need to be so difficult if a person is truly sincere. It may also be that whoever is in charge of conversions in Israel does not want to see too many newcomers join the Jewish nation that are of different ethnic race? It is hard sometimes for Jews who have always been jewish by DNA to accept new groups since it feels so foreign. However, there are converts that are not true and have ulterior motives and these do need to be reviewed carefully. I hope that the Rabbis who decide these conversion are fair and are rejecting those based on good reasons. I know very little of the cases so i can’t criticize. I will say that I know a very prominent Jewish man who is a convert and does not announce this in his community since he is afraid he will be treated differently. He is very smart and pious Jew but he still senses converts are not always fully accepted. A day will come when God reveals himself to whole world and many more people may want to be a part of Jewish nation and we must love all converts if it is sincere. A true convert is a blessing for Israel. We need people who believe in our nation and if such converts are willing to leave their traditions and say goodbye to their roots we must love them too as long as it is sincere. I worry very much about Jewish education and the State of Israel. We have so much work to do.
August 5th, 2009 at 9:19 am
What a moving post. As somebody who has converted in Australia, I can attest that the decisions of the Israeli Rabbinate resonate to this distant land. For example, at my final interview I specifically asked about the issue of possible ‘annulment’ and the answer given was in accordance with the latest ‘thinking’, ie. that a lower level observance after the conversion may be used as evidence ex post that the applicant for conversion had not been sincere ex ante. I live in fear that one day my conversion may be annulled or my children deemed ‘not Jewish’.
Elana, you push all the right buttons. In my - albeit limited - experience, the 3 things that rankle the most with Orthodox are (1) any suggestion that patrilineal descent may have any bearing upon Jewish identity (disclosure - my father was Jewish so I am also ‘Jewish by DNA’); (2) that conversion should be anything other than difficult and discouraged, and that observance after conversion should be anything other than meticulous; and (3) that feminism is anything other than an ‘external’ movement totally foreign to Judaism (rather than a call for true justice and embodiment of ethical principles).
To attempt to reconcile these - and other - issues with my learning and practice was (is!) a great psychological struggle. For anyone interested, my story - and associated comments - can be found at http://galusaustralis.com/2009/08/conversion-disorder/
March 19th, 2010 at 4:32 am
I was in a class with some students and an ultra Orthodox Rabbi was teaching. The topic of the day was Amalek! How an Amalek in each generation sets out to destroy the Jews. Now who are the Jews? To be a Jew one must accept all the 613 commandments. Like many Orthodox sites refer to being Jewish as accepting a Citizenship. They say that if someone is not happy and disagrees with any of the 613 commandments, nobody is forcing you to become a citizen of that country in the first place. They also say that it is a normal practice for an Orthodox Rabbi to deny a person who wishes to convert into Judaism 3 times. They will on the other hand encourage the 7 Noahide Laws and say that the 613 were meant for the Jewish people only. But are we not all children of Noah after the great flood? The Noahide Laws were given to Noah but when a great man such as Abraham seeked G-d further, the laws of the Torah were given as our sages say that Abraham, Issac and Jacob all knew the Torah before if was given at Sinai. There are so many stories on how Abraham tried so hard to make others believe in the One G-d and also convert them. He was a sharing and caring man. I cant recall where Abraham told anyone that they must follow the 7 Noahide Laws but he has more to follow and they were meant only for his Children. But this is commonly said by many Rabbi’s nowdays. The Abraham in them is lost and they do not see the point that each time they reject someone who wants to convert to Judaism, they are causing someone not to be able to practice the 613 commandments. In other words, they are Amalek. Before destroying the real Amalek, we must all destroy the Amalek within us and stopping one from performing the 613 commandments, stopping one from becoming a Jew and discouraging one from being Jewish is the job of Amalek and not our Rabbi’s. Our sages believe that all converts already had a Jewish soul in them so lets look at it in another way. A person who wants to convert is denied try times by an Orthodox Rabbi. This person is persistant and eventually is allowed to convert, so eventually he or she does become Jewish but according to our sages, these people were already having a Jewish soul even before converting, some call these as lost souls. Now lets go back to the Rabbi who denied this person 3 times, in actuall fact this Rabbi denied a fellow Jew 3 times! The day we start to see things the way Abraham saw, it would be easier for the Messiah to come. Somehow knowingly or unknowingly, the very learned and Orthodox Rabbi’s have made laws that even reject fellow Jews as above. Before we seek the Messiah to come and unite the lost tribes and bring peace, we must first try our best to unite ourselves. I would like to say a simple story to end, there was a very learned Jew and two simple Jews who owned a shop. When they passed on to the other world, the simple couple reached the gates of Heaven first. The learned Jew was upset and argued to the angel saying that those simple people dont even know how to pray properly but I have been following the all the commandments to the best of my ability and been praying correctly. The angel then show this man a picture of what happened on Earth, while this man was so particular on not missing his prayer times, the other couple prayed and blessed G-d each time they had a visitor or customer. Their sincere and simply approach reached the heavens faster then a more complex and closed hearted way. Set no boundries to ourselves to reach G-d and more important is not to set boundries on others, may he or she be a Jew or non Jew, the 613 commandments are G-d given and something G-d given is possible for everyone to eventually accept and follow.